Once again the time has come for me to do a quick reflection of how I would like 2011 to be remembered.
And once again I can’t recall the adjective I’ve used to describe 2010 or the years before. I’ve had hundreds of posts ever since I started blogging and yes, I chose to privatise them. Believe it or not, I don’t read them. Maybe one day, when I’m old and grey.
One thing for sure, 2011 has been the toughest. There were a lot of battles to be fought and abandoned. Right from the start till finish (well almost). But there was a short period of tranquillity – and that’s how I would like to remember 2011.
And the story goes like this, Boy looks for Girl, Boy likes Girl, Girl likes Boy, Girl & Boy dated, Girl & Boy loved.
“Maybe this is just some stupid romantic South American idea, but I need you to understand-darling, for you, I am even willing to suffer. Whatever pain happens to us in the future, I accept it already, just for the pleasure of being with you now. Let’s enjoy this time. It’s marvelous.”
This I kept saying in my heart each time we met because all along I had accepted the fact that nothing’s ever certain and whatever happens – I am already eternally grateful for the fact that – Someone loved me for who I am. That moment of acceptance was just surreal. Given the circumstances and trials in addition to the person that I was and I am – that very leap of faith was indeed a brave one.
For the longest time, I thought I couldn’t love again. Boy, I was wrong. I loved like I’ve never loved before.
“When you have only two minutes to say good-bye to the person you love most in the world, and you don’t know when you’ll see each other again, you can become logjammed with the effort to say and do and settle everything at once.”
The other side of it came from a special group of friends. I must say I have quite a few real friends to be so damn proud of. Friends who never gave up on me, who were there through my thick(s) and thin(s), whom I shared my joy and happiness with. And of course, when the need arises I will do just the same for them and more.
That aside, there are major fixes to be done for 2012. I need to re-evaluate what I had sought out to do. What to keep, what to tweak, what to drop and what to add. I guess quite a bit would fall under the drop zone simply because I need additional mental and physical strength to cope with the rest.
Lastly, lo and behold – my goal for 2012 – Keep it simple.
Hence, this entry will probably be the last for this year or…..maybe forever.
Who knows?
“By unnerving definition, anything that the heart has chosen for its own mysterious reasons it can always unchoose later—again, for its own mysterious reasons.”
